DATING TIPS
How to Tell the Difference Between Flirting and Being Friendly
There are plenty of women who tend to blur the lines between flirty and friendly.
A lot of men can no longer tell if a woman is trying to throw hints and signs or if she’s just being a nice friend. Women are a lot more affectionate and emotional than men, so this is understandable.
It gets a little harder to avoid being friendzoned because of all the mixed signals too.
Fortunately, it’s not that hard to distinguish the difference if you just know where to look and what to watch out for.
The Flirty
- When she emphasizes her single status — women rarely bring up their single status unless they want to seduce a man or if they simply want attention. People don’t often talk about their relationship status among friends mainly because friends aren’t really that interested to hear about it.
Unless it’s about their love lives, no one usually brings it up. People, mostly men, who like boasting about how they aren’t single anymore don’t count here.
The fact that a woman would sometimes state that she is not taken, doesn’t have a boyfriend, and is currently not seeing anyone, is a dead giveaway. Obviously, if she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t say anything about it and wouldn’t hesitate to tell you that she was taken if asked.
- When she’s touchy — friendly women can be touchy, but it’s different when a woman is purposely trying to give you a hint. Women are very tactile by nature. When it comes to people they like, they have no problem initiating touch. Physical affection is their way of showing how comfortable they are around a person.
When she’s trying to clue you in, she touches your arm or hand casually while trying to get your attention. She’ll also touch your thigh if you two are sitting close and play it off as something casual. If it’s a gentle touch, then she’s flirting with you. If she slaps it or her grip is a bit harder, then she’s being friendly.
- The tone of her voice — it is said that a woman’s voice pitches higher if she is talking to someone she is attracted to. This is mostly how you tell if a lady is being flirty or not. Some of them, even those who normally have a lower pitch in their voice, will talk in a high-pitched cutesy voice.
If she speaks to you in a brash way and her tone is low, she only sees you as a friend.
- She reaches out to you — take this with a grain of salt. A lot of women play hard to get, or at least pretend that they aren’t interested in you. These are mostly the younger women and those women who have a higher pride than most. The rest don’t really care anymore.
If she likes you, she will ignore all that. If she doesn’t care about pretense, then she will make an effort to reach out to you. Usually, they wait 3 days before they do, though. This is mostly due to the 3-day rule, which also happens to be a dating strategy.
All it means is that if a woman doesn’t want to seem too eager, she will wait 3 days before contacting the man she likes.
- Asking you about your life — women tend to get curious about the man they are infatuated with. They will ask you about your personal life because they truly want to know what you are like and what your life is about. Friendly women will ask you questions out of politeness and that’s that.
But women who are interested will ask follow-up questions. If the girl you are seeing asks you questions about your personal life and seems like she genuinely is curious, she might have a crush on you.
The Friendly
- She playfully flirts — when a girl genuinely only sees you as a friend, she will not care. She will make jokes unabashedly and even playfully flirt with you. Girls who have crushes can’t do this without blushing or looking awkward. A friendly woman won’t even bat an eye as she makes jokes with you.
Women do this because they are very secure about their own feelings for you. They don’t need to put up a pretense because you are a friend. And that’s all you’ll be, hence the joke-y flirting.
- Being kind — some men will misunderstand a kind woman. In truth, there are just those women who are kind-hearted. There doesn’t have to be a hidden intention behind any of it. Just because a woman is being nice does not mean she is displaying attraction.
Friends can be kind to each other too. If she’s the very friendly type, then of course she’s going to be nice to her friends.
She may not be harboring any romantic feelings for you, but that doesn’t mean you should take advantage.
- She is comfortable around you — because she can’t be insecure with someone who she only sees as a friend, she will become very comfortable around you and may even touch your arm, hand, or shoulder. You will also notice that none of these touches seem flirty at all.
Just in case you can’t tell the difference, here are some examples of friendly gestures and touches a woman will act on.
- Wrapping an arm around your shoulders
- A slap on your shoulder
- Grabbing your elbow or wrist a little too harshly
- Lightly pushing you, but not enough to actually hurt you
Every woman is different
Most of these signs are very subjective and some differ. There are flirty women who will tease you and will flirt aggressively too. There are also women who don’t particularly like you but will have actions that confuse you.
Every woman is different and how they show affection also differs.
Still, it doesn’t have to be a guessing game all the time. If a girl is showing interest, you can see it in her eyes. Most men will just go with their gut feeling. Rely on that if you think you can’t rely on the signs.
