INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE
Marriage Expectations of Women in Mexico
Well, well, well. It looks like you’re about to take a pretty deep plunge. In fact, it could be said that the plunge you’re about to take is the deepest plunge a human being can take. If it’s not the deepest, then it’s definitely in the top 3. What is that plunge? Well, you’re about to get married to a Mexican woman. And now you’re wondering what your bride-to-be expects.
You’ve done the work. You’ve wined, dined, and dated a woman. You’ve earned the approval of her family. You’ve splurged for a ring, gotten down on one knee, and she said yes.
Well, you’ve probably been to a wedding before. It might have even been your own. If not, it was someone close to you. So you probably have some idea of what to expect when someone walks down the aisle. But there might be a few things that they do down in Mexico that you might not expect, but the woman you’re dating is almost certain to expect them.
The Venue
One of the most important parts of wedding planning is booking and securing the venue. You need a place in which to get married, after all. Your bride-to-be won’t be able to walk down the aisle if there isn’t an aisle for her to walk down.
If you don’t book your venue early enough, you may end up with an unexpectedly extended engagement. If you’re looking to get married as soon as possible, you need to secure the venue early. Or you choose a venue that’s available.
At least that’s probably how you’re used to it.
But that secular ceremony with its fairytale venue probably isn’t what your fiancé has in mind when picturing her wedding. You see, Mexico is a predominantly Catholic country and its religious tradition runs strong and it runs deep throughout the culture.
So finding a venue for the wedding isn’t going to be a problem. It’s probably going to be the church or chapel where she’s been hearing Mass every Sunday since she was born. It’s probably even the same church or chapel in which she was baptized. The officiant might even be the same priest that baptized her in the first place.
So that’s one wedding headache that you’re not going to have to deal with.
The Guest List
Do you want to have a small and intimate wedding where only a handful of family and close friends are in attendance? Well, too bad. That’s not likely to happen. Mexican families are very close knit so while you will have to invite the usual suspects — siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents — you’ll also have to invite a lot more people. People like third or fourth cousins.
You may even have to invite her grandmother’s best friends because they’ll be seen as honorary family members and it’d be considered rude not to invite them even though neither you nor your bride are related to them and they might even be total strangers whose existence the two of you were unaware of until someone brought them up.
So your guest list might grow to include a few people that you may not know, but your bride is probably only just barely aware of their existence.
The Ceremony
Are you a religious person? Did you go to any kind of spiritual service growing up? Well, chances are that your fiancé is going to answer yes to both of those questions. Remember the part about how the Catholic tradition runs deep in Mexico? Well, your paramour is likely part of that tradition. So your wedding ceremony is going to be swept up in that Catholicism.
So if you think that the ceremony is just going to be you and your bride exchanging vows, then you’ve a whole other thing coming. Before you get to exchange vows, there’s going to be a Catholic mass. Your wedding ceremony will be part of it. You’ll kneel on pillows at the altar and a priest will bless your union.
Mentors and Sponsors
Quick question, who’s paying for the wedding? Traditionally, the bride’s family pays for the wedding, right? Isn’t that how it works? Well, maybe that’s how it works where you’re from, but that may not be how it works where you’re going.
Your Mexican wedding is going to have sponsors. No, not like an athlete wearing corporate logos on their journey, but there will be a padrino and a madrina, who will function as godparents and they’ll pay for small parts of the wedding.
The padrino and the madrina will also serve as a mentor couple for the engaged couple in the sense that theirs is a relationship that the would-be married couple is supposed to emulate.
They also read Bible passages during the ceremony itself.
Getting Roped In
Getting married means getting tied down. Metaphorically speaking, of course. It’s not like you’re literally being tied down.
Except you are. At least in Mexico. In Mexico, there’s the El Lazo ritual, which is when a long rope of rosary beads is circled around the couple’s necks so that it forms an 8. This is done after they exchange their vows and is supposed to symbolize a long future together.
Lucky Number 13
13 is a pretty unlucky number for a lot of Americans. But there’s one context wherein 13 is a pretty lucky number. Part of a traditional Mexican wedding ceremony is the Las Arras ritual, when the groom presents his bride with a small chest.
But what’s inside that chest? Why, 13 gold coins. Each coin represents Jesus and his apostles and the priest is supposed to bless them during the ceremony.
There are a lot of things about weddings that you’re probably used to; good food, a bit of stress thanks to logistics, and maybe some family drama. Guess what, those things are pretty universal. But there are a few things that you’ll encounter when marrying a Mexican woman that aren’t as universal.
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